


So I cry when you cry

by booobbypooh



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 09:18:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10613916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booobbypooh/pseuds/booobbypooh
Summary: Hanbin pretty much loses it everytime he sees Jiwon cries.





	

# Rain

 

It was 24th January when Hanbin first met with Jiwon.

And it wasn't that good of first impression Jiwon gave him for their first meeting. 

Hanbin is very well known as someone cold, fierce gaze and when he speaks, only thornful and mean words come out, without he even realizing. 

Sometimes, he doesn't even mean it to be rude, but his nature is just like that. He can't help it.

They first met when Jiwon moved to his neighbourhood. Coincidentally, the house is just in front of Hanbin's. If Hanbin just opened the window in his room, he could totally see Jiwon's house. At that time, Hanbin's mother told him to give spice rice cakes for their new neighbour as a warm greeting.

Being the filial son as he is, Hanbin did as he was told.

He knocked on the door and when the door slided open, he was welcomed by a messy-haired Jiwon, his eyes were as squinty as a crescent moon when he smiled at Hanbin and it annoyed Hanbin much.

When he invited Hanbin in, the latter tried to sound polite and say he was only dropping by, but as if they were already close, with that silly smile on his plump lips, he dragged Hanbin into his house. Hanbin sighed and only followed him to the living room.

He looked around the house and noticed that the house was really clean, as if it wasn't a young bachelor guy's house. There wasn't any speck of dust and it looked like Jiwon has already arranged all stuff in the house. There was a lot of DVDs on the rack beside the TV and there was also some notebooks stacked on the coffee table.

 _'Is he really this kind of neat person?'_ Hanbin thought to himself and tried to peek into the notebooks and could barely see _100 days left_ written on the book on the top. He was curious but he decided to brush it aside as he didn't want to be a busybody neighbour. When Jiwon came back, it was a disaster.

That day, Jiwon accidentally spilled his tteokbeokki on Hanbin's shirt.

And Hanbin came back to his own house wearing Jiwon's shirt which was too big for his own good. And he swore to himself that he was gonna hate Jiwon for his entire life, for dirtying his favourite shirt, which he bought from Germany during his family trip.

 

It was 8th February when Jiwon started to go to the same school as Hanbin.

"Hello, everyone. I'm Kim Bobby, from America. Please treat me well and I hope we will be able to be nice friends, all of us. Let's create good memories together!"

Hanbin snorted during Jiwon's introduction in the class that morning, while the other kids were all swooning over him already. He knew Bobby's name was Kim Jiwon and he found it irritating that the American didn't introduce himself with his Korean name.

They were in the same class and he was sitting in front of Hanbin, being Junhoe's deskmate. And Hanbin hated how his bestfriends were all over Jiwon as if that guy was a superstar, especially Junhoe and Donghyuk, Hanbin's deskmate. The two were practically sticking with Jiwon all the time with laughters. It made Hanbin annoyed again, with that same silly grin from the new student, everytime he turned to look at Hanbin.

But the latter never smiled back. He only responded with cold stare at Jiwon before snorting and focused back to his homework. But Jiwon only smiled warmly at him afterward, in which Hanbin missed out as he turned to other direction, which was his book.

During the recess, Junhoe and Donghyuk invited Jiwon to eat together with them and Hanbin. Without any further delay, the newbie grinned happily before joining them at the table. 

Hanbin was annoyed again. Especially when Jiwon ate in front of him so deliciously, as if the newbie never eat any luscious foods like that. But Hanbin doesn't know, Jiwon really never did.

The way he was smiling blissfully while chewing the cheese pizza and gulping down Coke after, everything was driving Hanbin crazy. He really didn't like that kid.

Junhoe even fed him one of his muffins. Donghyuk let him finished his banana milk.

When the school ended, and Jiwon had to leave early, Hanbin glared at his bestfriends.

"Why? What's with the glare?" Junhoe asked as he packed his bag and Donghyuk only chuckled.

"I don't like that newbie," Hanbin said, "This is only his first day here, and he acts as if he is already a senior," shaking his head with appalled look, "He is way too friendly. Seems fake."

"Didn't you hear when he introduced himself just now? He is from America," Junhoe said, "It's common to be that friendly. Who are you calling fake, just because he is friendly, unlike you."

Hanbin rolled his eyes at Junhoe and Donghyuk shut his mouth, not daring to say anything in front of furious Hanbin.

 

It was 31st March when Hanbin finally started to talk with Jiwon.

It was raining heavily that day.

Hanbin was in his room, pushing the curtain to the side and watching the raindrops on his closed window in awe, when he heard his father yelling at his mother before it turned into a heated quarrel. He sighed and closed his eyes as he listened to the sound of rain falling instead. But his heart was still hurting as he could still hear them fighting. 

He hugged his knees and buried his head, crying his heart out.

And that's when Jiwon opened the window of his room, letting the cold of rain entering his room and spotted Hanbin from the window. Jiwon stared at Hanbin's pitiful posture and smiled reluctantly to himself.

When Hanbin lifted his head a bit, Jiwon could see the swollen crimson red eyes and he pursed his lips into a thin line. Then, Hanbin looked up and their eyes locked, for a good 30 seconds before Hanbin turned away, feeling embarassed that Jiwon saw him crying.

He immediately closed the curtain, didn't want Jiwon to witness his tears anymore. Jiwon only smiled sadly then before he heard a quite deep voice saying behind him, who appeared out of nowhere, "Close the window, Kim Jiwon."

He chuckled, "I will, don't worry."

"Now."

He pouted cutely at that person but the latter looked at him with serious eyes gazing upon him before Jiwon closed his window.

"Why so grumpy, Yunhyeongiee?" He asked, though he knew the answer.

Yunhyeong didn't answer and jumped onto the bed before looking at Jiwon again, "What are you doing? Come here."

Jiwon got up and was about to go to the bed when he noticed that Hanbin stormed out of the house without umbrella. He sighed lightly and grabbed his jacket, causing Yunhyeong to jerk his eyebrows up.

"Where are you going?" 

Jiwon didn't answer, timidly getting his revenge on the other and wore the jacket before taking an umbrella.

"Jiwon, don't do something stupid. It's raining out there-"

The said man smiled, a bright one, "Don't worry too much, Yun. Don't you see I'm wearing this thick jacket and I even bring this umbrella~"

"But still-"

"I told you not to worry about me, Yun."

With that saying, he left.

He found Hanbin standing stiff in front of a grave near the neighbourhood, hugging his body out of freezing under the heavy rain. He approached the soaking boy, making the latter tilted his head to look at him when Jiwon removed the jacket from his body and put it on Hanbin instead.

Jiwon smiled again. This time, warmly.

Warm enough to make Hanbin's heart pounding hard.

Hanbin quickly lowered his head down, peering at the name on the grave and said, breaking the silence which accompanied by the loud sound of rain, "This is my sister. Hanbyul was her name," his tears fell again, covered by the falling rain washing over his face and drenched hair, "She died because of me. It's all because of me..."

"You can't just blame yourself like this," Jiwon murmured and Hanbin's eyes lingered at Jiwon's soft smile carved on his lips then, "You can't punish yourself this way thinking you can't live happily since you caused her death."

Hanbin scoffed, "Stop acting like you know everything, when you know nothing."

But Jiwon only laughed lightly before putting the umbrella above Hanbin's head. And Hanbin's face was freed from the rainwater.

"Now, I can see if you are still crying or not," he casually said before letting out that silly laugh, in which Hanbin found unique somehow. Now.

Hanbin gave him a deadly glare and Jiwon smiled again before saying, "Let's head home. Your parents must be worried now."

And a tear dropped from Hanbin's left eye. Jiwon naturally wiped the tear away using his cold thumb and Hanbin stared at Jiwon's drenched face.

"Don't think of me lightly just because you have seen my tears," Hanbin said coldly, but Jiwon only replied with the same smile, that never leaving his plump lips which seemed to be dry though it was stained by the rain.

"You are not a weak person just because you cried," Jiwon muttered and ruffled Hanbin's wet hair, "You only need to smile," his fingers went to Hanbin's quivering lips before making that lips formed a smile.

Jiwon flashed a bright smile, "Look, you look so cute when you smile," but Hanbin pushed his hand away.

That hand... Was cold. Like very cold. Unlike his warm smile on that still dry-looking lips.

Hanbin gave a last glance at Hanbyul's grave and left, Jiwon following right behind, his own umbrella with Hanbin. His jacket too. 

 

* * *

 

 

## Hello Goodbye

It's 20 April when Hanbin starts to realize how much Jiwon's presence affects his life.

He was standing in front of the mirror in his room, staring at his own reflection from the mirror. Slowly, his lips started to curve upward and he knew he was smiling. He felt weird somehow. It has been a very long time since he last smiled. And now it felt awkward for some reasons.

But he liked it anyways.

When he looked at his face and realized how much he missed to smile, to feel happy like this.

His smile grew wider and then he noticed his own deep dimples. He chuckled shyly as he touched his dimples and those precious memories appeared in his mind.

 

_Hanbin didn't understand. How did Bobby manage to just come into his life, really out of the blue and change everything? Like everything in his life?_

_After that rainy day, Hanbin ignored Jiwon at all cost in the school, avoiding the latter's soft gaze and trying all his might to forget the other's toothy smile._

_Jiwon tried to talk with Hanbin, but as expected, Hanbin kept pushing him away and avoiding himself from the other. That even Junhoe and Donghyuk felt suffocated by the two._

_"Hey, Hanbin, wait," Jiwon grabbed his hand when he was about to leave the school._

_Hanbin sighed for the nth time and looked at the other students who were busy packing their stuff to go home, but their eyes couldn't help staring at the two. He was feeling uncomfortable when they looked at him, as if he was one kind of caged prisoner._

_"Why do you keep avoiding yourself from me?" Jiwon asked and Hanbin bit his lower lip, "W-when did I?"_

_Jiwon smiled before giggling at the sight of nervous and stammering Hanbin._

_"I just want to ask you, when will you give my shirt back?" Jiwon asked casually, while Donghyuk and Junhoe covered their mouth with their palm in shock._

_"Wait, why is Bobby's shirt with you?" Junhoe asked, out of curiousity._

_Hanbin glared at Bobby. Great, now all of his classmates have suspecting there was something between him and Bobby. That's just great._

_"Oh, actually, it's not only my shirt. My jacket is with you too," he teasingly smiled, "Even my umbrella!"_

_Hanbin scowled at the other and said in annoyed tone, "I will give you back those stuff today. Satisfied?"_

_Jiwon grinned and Hanbin didn't know why it looked silly yet attractive to his eyes._

_"Does that mean you will come to my house?"_

_Hanbin nodded before quickly leaving the class, didn't bear to face his classmates._

 

_When he went to Jiwon's house that evening, he saw another pair of black leather shoes in the rack._

_"Do you live alone here?" He asked while taking off his shoes._

_Jiwon turned toward him and awkwardly smiled, "Uh, y-yeah. I'm living alone. Why?"_

_"Nothing," he shrugged, thinking that shoes could be Jiwon's and entered the house together with Jiwon._

_It was funny. How that meeting was able to change everything. Hanbin didn't even know how did the question about Jiwon's babyish talking style would lead to him showcasing his ugly face._

_And it looked so funny, Hanbin burst out laughing without him realizing._

_"Oh God, you seriously, really look like a monkfish, I can't believe it!" He exclaimed, his face was already wrinkling with laughter, "I didn't believe it when June said that but now that I see it with my own eyes, I-" he was still laughing, his eyes closed while holding his aching stomach and Bobby took that chance to make his face even uglier._

_Hanbin opened his eyes as he calmed down but seeing Bobby's face once again got him rolling on the floor. Bobby genuinely smiled as he watched Hanbin dying with laughter. It was not even that funny but the guy laughed as if he was inhaling a freaking laughing gas._

_But Bobby was contented seeing it._

_Hanbin panted heavily after laughing too much. It felt funny because it has been ages since he last laughed like this. It was the first time since forever. And he stopped laughing when he realized it._

_Bobby made him laugh._

_"Why did you stop laughing? Your laugh is contagious, do you know that?" Jiwon asked as soon as Hanbin stared dumbfoundedly at himself._

_Jiwon stood and leaned closer to Hanbin on the floor and caressed his face with a light smile. Hanbin looked up, his lips quivering for no reason and his eyes shook when their gaze locked._

_But Jiwon let out a soft laugh seeing Hanbin's tense expression, "Hey, what the heck? You were laughing like a mad man just now and-" but Hanbin suddenly grabbed the other's collar and closed the gap between them, their face were an inch away from each other._

_This time, Jiwon was the one having his heartbeat sped up in a crazy pace. He swallowed his saliva down hardly realizing how close they were with each other. However, Hanbin's face was serious as he tightened his grip onto Jiwon's shirt, "Who the fuck are you? Tell me, who are you actually?"_

_Jiwon furrowed his eyebrows, "M-me? I'm Jiwon, you know that-"_

_"How dare you make me laugh? How in the world... It's not me... Why..."_

_Jiwon knew Hanbin was confused. So, he softly ruffled Hanbin's hair and when the latter looked up at him, he smiled again, "You deserve to laugh. I told you, your laugh is infectious. It's cute,"_ _Hanbin was feeling his heart pounding so much when he looked at Jiwon's squinty yet charming eyes, it caught him. Dearly._

_Hanbin's eyes went down to Jiwon's plump pinkish lips when the American threw the words with his tempting lips, "It's such a shame if you still hold onto that promise to not smile nor laugh anymore, just because of your sister's death-" and Hanbin smashed his lips onto Jiwon's._

_It was just a small peck._

_But enough to turn Jiwon into a flabbergasted doll._

_Hanbin forced out a laugh, "I.. I just want you to shut up. I guess I succeeded then."_

_Jiwon also forced out a smile, "Ahh, I see! HAHA, you are sneaky~" he chuckled bitterly and Hanbin jerked his eyebrows arrogantly._

_"But now that I see it, your lips look dry," Jiwon said as he eyed the lips._

_Hanbin quickly touched his lips and groaned, "You're right," he was about to lick his lips, but Jiwon grabbed his hand, stopping him and said with a wink, "Let me do it for you," and he didn't wait anymore to let out his tongue and lick the dry lips, making Hanbin to arch his body in reflex, feeling foreign feeling in his stomach and heart, especially._

_But Jiwon gave no damn about it and continued licking Hanbin's lips, wetting each part using his wet tongue, driving Hanbin crazy with how good it felt when he sucked his lips sensually._

_It was so amazing, Hanbin couldn't deny it. He felt like he was sent to orbit though it was a mere kiss, nothing more than that._

_But the sound of the door sliding opened broke them away from each other. It was actually Jiwon who pushed Hanbin away from him._

_When Hanbin turned his head to the door, he saw a pretty guy with a styled brown hair and backpack on his back, staring at the both of them with a quite hurt gaze. He turned to Jiwon and saw that the latter was astonished as well._

_"Y-yunhyeong-ahh," Jiwon called that person's name and immediately stood, before Yunhyeong flashed a soft smile at them and muttered, "I'm sorry, I don't know that you have a guest. Just continue what you guys are doing. I will go into my room."_

_And Bobby seemed as if he had done something terrible completely. Hanbin turned around and asked, "He is staying here? I thought you are living alone?"_

_Bobby faintly sighed before saying, "I'm sorry, but there is a misunderstanding between me and my housemate, and I don't want you to get involved-"_

_"But I think I already did?"_

_Jiwon was flustered but he remained calm and patted Hanbin's back before saying, "It's getting late. You better head home now," and he formed that killer bunny smile and Hanbin was defeated already._

_Hanbin went to the door, Jiwon escorting him before Hanbin said, "It's going to be okay, right?"_

_Jiwon nodded, "Don't worry about me. Just worry about yourself."_

_"Thank you, Jiwon," he said, sincerely and Jiwon couldn't hide the grin from appearing from his lips._

_"I never thought I would have so much fun today," he said and Jiwon laughed again._

_"So much fun? All you did was laugh," Jiwon joked, "Do you want to see this handsome monkfish again?"_

_Hanbin snorted with a warm smile, "Ugly," and he added with a murmur, "But charming and adorable to the max," and he didn't even realize that he was smiling so cutely, until Jiwon touched his lips._

_"Yes, smile. Smile like that, Hanbin," Jiwon said excitedly when Hanbin formed a light smile at his lame joke. "This world needs more of that sweet and cute smile. And these dimples too," he caressed Hanbin's cheeks, "God, you are so fucking cute."_

_Hanbin swore he could feel himself blushing like a fool._

_And he left with his cheeks red and his heart aching for more interaction with Jiwon._

 

And it was weird, how Jiwon is able to treat everyone as if they have known each other for years. The moment he entered Hanbin's life, everyone around Hanbin also could never stopped smiling whenever Jiwon was there. He filled everyone's life with happiness and joy.

Even Hanbin's parents were no longer fighting with each other. His parents were indeed admiring Jiwon's presence. He was always there each time anyone had a hard time and he was able to solve it and turn the sorrow into endless laugh and smile.

On everyone.

And there's Hanbin.

Admiring his own transformation. Because of Jiwon.

He was still smiling while looking at the reflection of himself. 

Jiwon was right. Why didn't he smile? He have no idea that he had such cute dimple. And he grinned alone the more he stared at himself in the mirror.

"I must have gotten crazy," he giggled and shook his head, "No, I think I have fallen in love."

 

It was 25 April when Hanbin decided to confess to Jiwon.

He went to Jiwon's house and rang the doorbell multiple times but with no response. He furrowed his eyebrows, getting worried instantly. There were no Bobby's shoes either. And that black leather shoes also weren't there.

After waiting for 3 hours, he gave up with a heavy sigh. He walked around the neighbourhood while thinking about Jiwon with endless smile. He knew right away that he was a fool for Jiwon as he just couldn't stop thinking about the boy.

He heard sound of growling thunder and he sighed.  _Shit, I gotta head home fast-_

But when he arrived in front of a salon, he saw a familiar pretty guy walking fastly out of the salon, before Jiwon followed after, seeming to be chasing after the other. Hanbin immediately hid himself and only watched from behind the wall.

"Yunhyeong-ahh," Jiwon called him again and again but the said man didn't even respond, he only walked away, avoiding Jiwon at all cost.

As they were quite far from Hanbin, he didn't hear anymore whatever they were talking about, but he could clearly see that Jiwon was finally able to grab Yunhyeong's hand and hugged the pretty boy tightly, as if didn't want to let go anymore.

Hanbin could feel his heart wavering at the sight. His lips quivered again.

And it rained then. Heavily.

But the pair didn't even budge. And it broke Hanbin's heart even more when Jiwon pressed his lips against Yunhyeong's. They kissed passionately in the rain.

Hanbin held his chest. It felt like his heart was breaking, shattering into pieces. And tears unexpectedly flowed down from his eyes.

But Yunhyeong pushed Jiwon away from him and left. The latter looked so miserable. But Hanbin's worse.

The rain fell even heavier. And Jiwon didn't move anywhere, he was standing rooted to the ground, looking at the direction of where Yunhyeong left him with reluctant gaze.

Hanbin entered the salon and borrowed an umbrella from one of the staff, with an intention to go to Jiwon and comforted him, but when he went out of the salon, he spotted Yunhyeong holding an umbrella with drenched Jiwon under it.

And he left again.

Jiwon fell onto the ground, the umbrella flying away due to the strong wind. Hanbin sighed and quickly went to Jiwon. The American looked up at him and when the umbrella shed him, Hanbin could clearly see his swollen red eyes and tears that ran down his cheeks.

And again, his lips looked dry and pale. Even he was drenched.

Just like that day.

 

The both of them walked home together under the rain.

And when they arrived at Jiwon's house, he made a puppy face at Hanbin before saying, "Can you stay here for a night?"

Seeing the glassy eyes, Hanbin couldn't even say no. He went into the house, and noticed that the black leather shoes weren't there anymore. Or maybe, never.

After taking a shower, they ended up on the couch in the living room and Hanbin's eyes caught that notebook again.

And this time, it wrote  _Mission accomplished_.

"Can I hug you?" Jiwon suddenly asked, taking Hanbin by surprise, but he nodded anyways.

And Jiwon snuggled closer to his warm body and they shared the warmth. Hanbin had no idea how their palms fit each other so well when they laced their fingers and when Jiwon rested his head against Hanbin's shoulder, it felt just right, even Jiwon was physically bigger than him.

Halting his thought, he could feel something wet on his shirt.

Turned out to be Jiwon's tears.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, worries washed over him and Jiwon still maintained that crooked smile on his lips, which turned heartbreaking even more.

"I'm okay, I just...I need to let these stupid tears out," and he laughed weakly, "I thought I have no shoulder to lean onto anymore, but I guess I still have you, isn't it?"

Hanbin faintly smiled and when Jiwon nuzzled his face onto Hanbin's chest, his tears still rolling down, his arms naturally snaking around the other's waist, a tear dropped from Hanbin's eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

## Broken Souls

"Hey, Jiwon," Hanbin shook the other's body urgently, "Your body feels so cold," he was getting so worried, "Are you okay? Did you have fever?"

But the said boy smiled as a reply, "I'm fine, don't worry," he answered with his trembling lips, "I'm not sick."

Hanbin clearly didn't buy it, "How can you say you weren't sick when your body felt like ice?" 

Jiwon forced out a smile, "No, I'm fine, really. Maybe, it's because of the rain. Don't worry," he got up, "I will sleep on that couch, so you won't catch my fever, in case you worry about that-"

Hanbin sighed, "It's not about that-"

Jiwon put his finger against Hanbin's lips with a hope that the latter would shut up already, "I'm fine. Okay?"

Hanbin sighed, feeling defeated already. "Fine," he formed a small smile when Jiwon went back to his sleeping position on the other couch. 

"I really miss my parents," Jiwon suddenly said, his eyes portrayed longing and misery, "I wish I can see them right now. If I get sick like this, my mom would be making soup for me. Oh, I miss her soup."

Hanbin looked around and asked in a warm voice, "Let me use your kitchen, then. I will make you some soups."

Jiwon smiled brightly even his lips were pale as fuck, "I would love to! Can't wait to taste your handmade~"

Hanbin chuckled lightly and got up to go to the kitchen before started taking all ingredients needed to make soup for Jiwon. He stopped when he heard soft sounds of cry from the living room and he knew it was Jiwon. He took a glance and saw Jiwon was hugging a picture frame, his eyes closed though tears ran down his cheeks like a fountain. And Hanbin knew tears were running down from his eyes too at the moment, at the sight of crying Jiwon.

Brushing it aside, he was about to chop some vegetables when he heard the doorbell rang signalling someone had opened the door. He wondered to himself who was the sudden  _guest_ , but then, who else?

"Gosh, Kim Jiwon!" He heard that kinda familiar voice and his heart ached again as he knew whose voice was that.

It was Yunhyeong.

He timidly went to peek on the living room and saw that Yunhyeong was cupping Jiwon's cheeks with a very worried look while Jiwon was smiling endlessly staring at Yunhyeong's face.

"Your body is so cold, why didn't you go see the doctor?" Yunhyeong nagged and Jiwon wore amused smile as his eyes were pinned on Yunhyeong the whole time, as if it was interesting.

"Can you walk?" Yunhyeong asked again and Jiwon quickly shook his head, acting cute all of sudden, "Carry me. Please." 

Sighing, "I will take you to the hospital-" Jiwon grinned like a little child but Yunhyeong halted when he spotted Hanbin at the kitchen, watching them with his hurtful gaze.

Yunhyeong snorted a bit and Jiwon's smile faltered. He bit his lower lip as he looked at Hanbin's lost state, only then remembering that Hanbin was there since the beginning.

"So, you are here all along," Yunhyeong was slightly glaring at Hanbin, "Why didn't you bring him to the hospital? Didn't you see how freezing he is?"

Hanbin was dumbfounded and he was about to say something but Jiwon immediately answered for him, feeling guilty that Hanbin had to be trapped in that kind of situation because of him, "I'm the one that asked him not to bring me to the hospital, so don't blame him," his eyes were plastered on Yunhyeong again as he muttered those words, it was evident that those eyes were full of love, it sickened Hanbin's heart.

"Oh, sorry," Yunhyeong immediately apologized and knocked Bobby's head softly, "Stupid brat. I should have seen this coming."

Bobby chuckled weakly, "I know you will come here to check on me, that's why I insisted not to go," and those words cut Hanbin's heart sharply.

Yunhyeong sighed lightly, "You are so stubborn," and he took Jiwon's arms onto his shoulder before attempting to properly carry Jiwon on his back but failed.

Jiwon laughed heartily at the other's clumsy action, "You are such an old man. So weak."

Yunhyeong frowned, "Geez, look at you. You can walk, aren't you?"

Jiwon giggled cutely before hugging Yunhyeong's waist happily, resting his chin against Yunhyeong's shoulder, "I'm just so happy that you came. I know, no matter how angry you are to me, you still care about me, more than everything. You can't even be angry that long, right?"

"I'm just too nice," Yunhyeong smiled bitterly and Hanbin felt so heartbroken.

He felt like he was isolated from the other two, as if he was just invisible man there, as if he was just a tree.

"Thank you, for not losing hope on me," Jiwon murmured before he collapsed and it got Yunhyeong panicked, "Yah! Kim Jiwon! Hey!"

Hanbin widened his eyes in shock, "J-Jiwon..."

Yunhyeong looked up, clearing his throat and said, "Hey, Hanbin, isn't it? Since you are here, can you help me carry this punk? He is just..too heavy..."

Hanbin awkwardly nodded and helped Yunhyeong to carry Jiwon to the car belonged to the latter's housemate. He somehow ended up getting dragged to the hospital too. When Jiwon was admitted to the emergency room, Hanbin and Yunhyeong awkwardly sat together at the waiting lounge. Few minutes passed and there were no words exchanged between them.

And Hanbin decided to break it as he was too curious.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"I saw what happened earlier at the salon," he noticed that Yunhyeong stopped whatever he was doing at the time the moment Hanbin said that, "Did you guys fight?"

Yunhyeong smiled a bit, in a bitter way, "Yeah, we did."

"Mind if I know why?"

Yunhyeong looked at Hanbin and his gaze softened before he sent a gentle pat on Hanbin's shoulder, "It's better if you don't know."

Hanbin mentally sighed. But he was still curious, so he threw out another question.

"What..what is your relationship with him?" Hanbin felt so embarassed for asking that kind of stupid question, "I mean, Jiwon..told me he lives alone, but then...you know... You appeared..."

Yunhyeong let out a reluctant short laugh, "He said that?" He pouted as if feeling sulky, "That punk."

"Are you guys dating?" Yunhyeong gave the same short laugh again, "I.. I kinda saw you guys kissed that time," he immediately turned away when Yunhyeong looked at him.

"Well, in a way, we are," Yunhyeong sighed while Hanbin felt like his world was crumbling down, "In other way, it is complicated."

Yunhyeong sighed again and there was regrets in his tone.

"I.." He peered at Hanbin and smiled, "Since you are important to him, I will be honest with you," and it intrigued Hanbin when he heard that word,  _Since you are important to him._

"I.. I'm his childhood friend. We basically knew each other since 5 and we are very close, but... His family is poor, like very poor," Yunhyeong started and Hanbin could spot tears pooling in the older's eyes already, "You also know he comes from USA, right? His family and him had to move there when he was 10, because of his family's financial problem. So, we pretty much get separated from each other. Thankfully, we never lost contact, but..." Yunhyeong was seriously having a hard time on saying the next words, it made Hanbin dying with curiousity.

"He has a weak lung, and it has not been long since the doctor diagnosed him with lung cancer," the new information almost gave Hanbin a heart-attack, "And he only had 3 months left- oh, if you include today, he only has 5 days more."

"What..." Hanbin was losing for words,  _5...days..?_

"Because of that disease, he kinda left his family since I promised them to take care of him well. And his operation too," Yunhyeong shook his head, guilt was overpowering his heart, "I practically  _stole_ him from his family."

"I don't understand."

"At that time, I had money, so I had the confidence to take care of him, of his treatment, but shit happened. I... I worked as the model in this agency, but turned out they are swindlers. They took all my money that I have been saving for his treatment... And now, I don't have anything. It makes me regret, for everything. I... I sorta give up on him..."

"That's why you guys fought?" Hanbin carefully asked.

"It's something else," Yunhyeong turned toward Hanbin, "If I am to be honest, it's because of you," looking at Hanbin's confused face, Yunhyeong chuckled in a bitter way, "I was jealous to see Jiwon and you. And I kinda threw a tantrum at him at the salon, when in fact, I was actually angry that the agency I worked at exploited my money, and I somehow vent my anger to him."

Yunhyeong was crying his heart out already, "It's only 5 days left, but I hurt him. I'm stuck. I'm supposed to take care of him, but I failed. Miserably."

Hanbin rubbed Yunhyeong's back soothingly though his heart was the one needing comfort right now.

 

It was 28 April when Hanbin witnessed something he shouldn't have seen.

Yunhyeong was staring out the window in Jiwon's room at the time and he could clearly see Hanbin from his window, the said boy was focused in reading a book, he didn't notice a pair of eyes looking at him. Yunhyeong smiled sadly, only then realizing that this might be the reason Jiwon always staring out the window; to watch Hanbin.

He could feel a long pair of arms hugging his waist from behind and he flashed a small smile before calling the name of the arms' owner, "Jiwon..."

"Hmmm," Jiwon hummed as a response, he was busy inhaling the sweet scene of Yunhyeong's body.

"Kiss me," he demanded and Jiwon smiled, his left hand went up to the other's cheeks before Yunhyeong tilted his head to the side, giving Jiwon the privilege to kiss him.

Their lips connected and Jiwon shoved his tongue into Yunhyeong's mouth, eagerly exploring the other's hot cavern, his other hand slowly sliding under Yunhyeong's shirt, caressing his sides softly.

Yunhyeong pulled away a bit to whisper against Jiwon's cheeks, "Do you realize that Hanbin's watching us?"

Jiwon's eyes flickered to see Hanbin from his window before Yunhyeong grabbed his sharp, well defined jaw, diverting Jiwon's focus onto him back, "Let's make out here. Where he can see us."

Jiwon hesitated a bit before continued kissing Yunhyeong, very passionately, in order to express how much he loved the other, in order to make Yunhyeong believe him that he was the only one in his heart.

Hanbin looked away, feeling a thornful stab to his heart. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he closed the curtain with a death-like pain surrounding his heart now.

Yunhyeong smiled as he noticed Hanbin closing the curtain, a reluctant tear dripped down from his left eyes before he muttered, "Enough, Jiwon."

Jiwon stopped kissing him, his lips quivered as tears dropped from his eyes, mildly pulling Yunhyeong into a compassionate hug.

"Don't cry," Yunhyeong softly said, wiping the tears from Jiwon's face, "I will never give up on you anymore. I'm sorry, I doubted you before."

"I really don't have any feelings for Hanbin, I'm telling you the truth," he said, tightening the hug and Yunhyeong smiled blandly, "Then, what is your feeling for him? That kid seems to be so in love with you..."

Jiwon lifted up his shaking pupils, but saying nothing afterward, only holding Yunhyeong even closer to his body.

Meanwhile, Hanbin let go of the curtain and lied on his bed; he couldn't even throw away the image of Yunhyeong and Jiwon kissing off his mind. It kept replaying in his mind, it drove him crazy. He felt so depressed.

 

It was 29 April when Hanbin witnessed Jiwon crying again.

They were at the school that time; everything went normal as if nothing happened. Jiwon being his usual cheerful self playing around with Donghyuk in the class and sometimes teased Hanbin even the latter only responded with a small glare each time. Hanbin really didn't understamd; how did Jiwon manage to keep that smile on his face when he was that ill? He fucking suffered from a cancer! And only had not more than 5 days left!

He felt like crying everytime he looked at Bobby's bright smile, because he knew there were so much scars hiding behind that smile. But it was over when the teacher suddenly called Jiwon to come out. Hanbin saw Yunhyeong waiting outside in his casual shirt and skinny jeans and Jiwon smiled brightly when he saw his lover before Hanbin barely heard Yunhyeong uttering, "Your parents died from car accident."

It was like a lightning striked him. That was what Hanbin feeling. He could see Jiwon's smile vanished little by little. "Y-you are kidding, right?"

"I'm sorry," Yunhyeong lowered his head down, unable to face Jiwon who was still unable to believe, "No, you are kidding."

"Jiwon," Yunhyeong tried to hold Jiwon's hand but the latter shook his head, and ran away.

Hanbin stood abruptly, getting worried but his teacher told Hanbin to sit down back. Hanbin bit his lower lip, feeling frustrated that he couldn't do anything, only watching. And watching. From the sideline.

 

It was 30 April when Yunhyeong appeared by Hanbin's doorstep that morning.

"I.. I need you to take care of Jiwon, while I go to work," Yunhyeong said, feeling so embarassed with himself that he had to ask Hanbin's help like this, but he had no other option because Jiwon's condition was too severe, especially after learning about the death of his parents.

Hanbin nodded without any words.

When Yunhyeong left, he entered the house and found Jiwon on the bed, his face pale, his lips almost blue and he kept coughing. Hanbin felt so horrible seeing this sight, ironic of the bright playful Bunny he saw in the school.

Jiwon was having difficulty in breathing and he kept panting.

He immediately went to Jiwon and held the other's hand tightly, "Are you okay?"

Jiwon opened his eyes weakly and smiled but groaned as he felt a sting in his lips when he moved the muscles, "Hanbin, you're here..."

"Yes, I'm here. I'm always here."

"Thank you," Jiwon still talked even his whole body was aching, he was just glad that Hanbin was by his side, but the one person he wanted right now was not him.

"W-where's Yunhyeong?"

Hanbin forced out a smile as he answered, "He's gone to work."

"I-" Jiwon suddenly coughed out bloods, making Hanbin gaped his mouth in surprise. He quickly wiped the blood and let Jiwon dunk down a glass od mineral water as Yunhyeong prescribed him to.

"Don't talk," Hanbin said, "Just rest."

Jiwon nodded before closing his eyes, "Hanbin," he murmured, "Can you promise me something?"

"I told you not to speak-"

"Promise me, that you will do anything that will make you happy. Make yourself happy. Okay?"

Hanbin smiled, "But do you want to know what makes me happy?"

Jiwon opened his eyes back, "What is it?"

"You."

Jiwon bit his sore lips and faked a smile, "I don't know that you are able to pull a joke like this. I thought you are a boring guy."

Hanbin laughed a little before Jiwon closed his eyes. For the last time.

Hanbin sighed softly and pulled up the blanket to cover Jiwon's stiff body. He went to the kitchen to make a traditional remedy that he learned from the internet last night. When he finished it, he brought the bowl containing it to Jiwon's room.

"Jiwon, wake up and eat this. I made this specially for you," he said before placing the bowl on the table and shook Jiwon's body gently, but with no response.

His heart began to race aa he shook Jiwon's body even harder, "Hey, don't kid around. Jiwon... Jiwon..."

He kept shaking Jiwon's lifeless body but still no response. He staggeredly went to Jiwon's pulse and gasped in horror as he couldn't feel anything, only cold. Jiwon was no longer breathing.

Hanbin took his phone and dialled Yunhyeong's number with his trembling fingers, but it was sent to the voice mailbox. He cursed out, "Fuck, why didn't you answer? Come on, answer!"

Yunhyeong still didn't pick it up even after hundreds time Hanbin calling him. Not knowing what to do, he tried calling Junhoe, but when the other picked it up, he said, "Hanbin? What do you want? Isn't it school holiday?"

"J-Junhoe, I..." He stammered, his voice just couldn't come out, "I... J-Ji.."

"What is it?" Junhoe sounded annoyed in his sleepy voice, "I'm sleepy. Hang up." 

And the call ended just like that.

He sighed but he tried calling Donghyuk then. The friend picked it up, but he quickly said from the other line, "Hanbin, I'm sorry, but I can't talk with you right now. I'm working-"

He could hear someone scolding from the other line, before Donghyuk saying sorry to him and ended the call too.

Hanbin screamed frustratedly and looked at Jiwon. He was so lost, he really didn't know what to do. With the last hope, he leaned down to Jiwon and planted a soft kiss on his forehead, "I'll come back," he ran back into his own house and was startled when his mother stormed out of her room with a luggage.

"M-mom?"

His mom walked toward him and said, "Hanbin, let's go together. You are going to live with me from now on-"

"No, he will stay here, with me," his father suddenly snapped before snatching Hanbin's hand from the mother.

"He is staying with me and that's that!" His mom snapped back.

"But, Mom, Dad, hear me first, Jiwon...he..he..." But neither his mom nor his father listen to him.

"I'm going to take him with me, no matter what!" 

"No, he is staying here! Are you deaf or what?"

"Mom, Dad... Jiwon..is dying-"

"Why arw you stubborn? You want me to divorce you and I did, so now let Hanbin with me-"

"Aeghhh, seriously!" Hanbin screamed out of anger and frustration, "I shouldn't have come here! Fuck all of you," and he ran out of the house, ignoring the calls from his parents.

He locked Jiwon's house door and walk with heavy steps to Jiwon's bed where the dead body was lying peacefully there.

Hanbin lied beside Jiwon and leaned down to place a soft kiss against Jiwon's unmoving lips. He cried out feeling how cold the other's body. As always.

"I love you," he confessed in front of the dead, "I love you."

With tears streaming down, he picked a folding knife he took from the kitchen and slit his wrist before bloods dripping down, and soon it pooled on the bed.

The white bed sheet turned red instantly.

_You asked me to do what makes me happy. And this is it._

_I'm only happy when I'm with you. Though you caused tears for me as well. But no one ever made me happy like you. So you are the answer. Even I know you never loved me._

He smiled staring at Jiwon's face before he noticed stain of tears on Jiwon's cheeks and tears ran down from his eyes again.

He closed his eyes as he held Jiwon's hand. And never opened them anymore.

_I cry when you cry._

_I die when you die._


End file.
